Kids Sleeping...not.

I think my kids have it in for me. They don't sleep. Josh and Haley would stay up all night if I let them. Max begs me to cuddle with him and then falls asleep. So that's great, I love that kid for that reason. Haley stays up later than me. I can't stay up that late. She has always loved to stay up late. I remember when she was little, we would lay in her room and I would put in a movie that would for sure put her to sleep, BAMBI. If you can make it through the opening credits of Bambi, and not fall asleep, then you are a true champ. I, am no champ. I fall asleep before the Director credit is on screen. I would come to about half way through the movie, and there is Haley, bright eyed like it is some suspense thriller. So I don't even try with Haley.

Last night I swear Josh was up three times. The first time was a blood curdling scream that would raise me from the dead. I go clomping into his room expecting him to be handing me a bloody stump and he says, "I can't find the remote." For the love. I said Josh, it is time to sleep. Don't worry about the remote because I am turning off your TV. Go potty. He does, and cuddles in bed and goes to sleep. Then about 2 hours later, "Mommmmm." Again, I go running in there like a drunken sailor, what? "I want to change my underwear," he says. I am not making this stuff up. This actually happened. I said, ok, change your underwear. Here is a pair, put these on. Go potty. Now go to bed. The last time he woke up, he just quietly appeared at my bed, gets right in my face and says, "mom, I'm cold." Ok, get in my bed. Which means, I have to get up, because Troy and Max are there too. So I go lay in Josh/Max's bed for another 15 minutes until my alarm goes off. I think to myself, when was the last time I really slept through the night. I can't remember. Haley is 12, it was probably before then. I have been married for 18 years, Troy hasn't gone to bed before 10:00 in our entire marriage. So it was probably around 1985 when I slept through the night. That's ok. I am not complaining too much. I know someday I will get too much sleep and the kids won't be around. I try to remember that when I am clomping into their bedrooms all night.

I've Truly Lost it now.

Aunt B is not happy in the hospital. She is as fragile as she can be and sometimes those nurses and aides can be rough. Today, I had enough of seeing Aunt B cry. I am taking her home. I wanted to perform my Shirley McClain impersonation in Terms of Endearment and start screaming, give my daughter her pain pill! But I didn't. As the "Team" gathered to give me their assessment of Aunt B, it was all I could do to not unplug the bed and wheel her home in it. I mean it is only a few blocks from my house. As good as some of the nurses were there, they didn't get it. They don't understand her needs. They talk to her like she is retarded, they poke, grab, tape and hurt her. Aunt B deserves better. When my Aunt Charlotte was in a nursing home begging to come home, I didn't do it. I was 23 and didn't have the "Hutspa" as I do now. I have regretted not taking her home and caring for her. After talking it over with Troy, we decided to try to care for Aunt B at home. I am nervous that I won't be able to do it. She can't walk, stand, or even sit up. I just think she will get better quicker at home. I hope it works out. Troy is awesome to help out. He said to me that we are a team in this, and we will do it together. Wow, that's pretty amazing.

Planning Her Escape

Aunt B fell and broke her hip last week. It has been a rough week for her. She has pneumonia and some heart issues and I really didn't think she would make it through surgery. But she did. She is a tough cookie. But her recovery has been tough. And for most of the week she hasn't talked much, or moved much. This morning when I got there, she was open eyed and a little more alert. A big improvement. They did some physical therapy and Aunt B combed her hair by herself. She sat on the edge of the bed with a little assistance.

Troy came around lunch time and helped her eat lunch. She was still alert and bossing the nurses aid out of the room. She can be that way when she isn't feeling like being a test patient. She quizzed Troy about how far her bed was from the door. Humoring her, he said about 6 feet. She thought about this. She told Troy that maybe they could move her bed closer to the door. Puzzled he said, ok we could do that later. She told him to bring her walker to the hospital and position it at the foot of the bed. She had eyed where the guard rail was lacking at the foot of the bed. She figured she could scoot down to the end of the bed, grab her walker, and head out the door. She was planning her escape out of the hospital. She wants out of there, like a jail break. I think she might make it. This attitude of breaking out makes me laugh and hope that she does make it out of there, but with me pushing her in a wheelchair.

Summer Vacation !

I love to go on a vacation every year. I think it is a fun way to just be together and "bond." I have fond memories of my vacations as a kid. We always went to the Homestead, and except for the time my brother told me I was adopted, it usually was a good time. Not that being adopted is a bad thing, he was just being a jerk and saying I wasn't really a Wiscomb because I was adopted. Yet, I digress. I remember the drive to the Homestead and asking my dad how much longer (it seemed really far away). His answer was always the same...just over that mountain. Which made me crazy because I thought good hell, we have to drive all the way to the top and then back down again, we will never get there. My mom always made me feel better by saying that we go around the mountain, which always seemed easier and closer. Obviously my dad and brother shared the same sense of humor. You know, humor by making Judy pissed off. Which really doesn't work for me. When we got to the room, Robert (the previously mentioned brother) and I were excited to go swimming. But first my parents made us set up the bar and make them a drink consisting of (get this) Tang and Vodka. Now, there are many things wrong with this event. First, why do the children have to set up the bar. Second, why would you need to drink before you take your kids swimming, wouldn't you want to be kind of sharp? Third, Tang, really? Tang isn't even good alone let alone with Vodka. Here let's pour some which hazel in Tang and see if it tastes good. It took me many years of trying to figure out the Tang/Vodka combo. Then I realized that in 1975 there were no refrigerators in the room, so you couldn't have a proper mixer like orange juice handy. Tang traveled well. And I guess the first drink was really the hard part. After that, it didn't really matter what the vodka was mixed with, as long as they kept on coming. I never even thought this was strange until as an adult taking my kids swimming immediately after arriving to a hotel and thinking, why would I make my kids set up the bar, and why would I drink before going swimming. Makes my head hurt.

We decided to take advantage of our own Park City for our vacation this year. Truthfully, my kids just want to swim and shop. Even when I take them to Disneyland they have a good time, but ask me when we are going back to the hotel to swim. I'm like, are you kidding me, we are in Disneyland, and you want to go swimming. Therefore, we went to Park City. Once we start driving up the canyon, I always think to myself, why don't we come up here more often. Just for the day. It is 30 minutes away. I can't even get to Draper in 30 minutes. Park City is great. We went on the Alpine Slide and the new Alpine Coaster which in my book is better than the slide. We shopped and swam, and enjoyed the scenery. We put puzzles together and watched about 50 episodes of Spongebob. We did whatever the kids wanted to do. I even got to see a friend (Hayley Wilson Mullin) from High School who lives in California and was in Park City for a softball tourney. So hey, it's a winner all the way around.

My New Friend...Tofu

Apparently, my liver is not happy. Damn liver. Nothing too serious, just not happy. So I need to eat like a fricken rabbit now. Which will be good for me. But I so love food. You know, really good, rich food with cream and butter...mmmm butter. But reality, like it always does for me, comes knocken' at my door. Damn door. I need to give up sugar, bye bye cookies, flour, bye bye bread, and animal products, bye bye lean roast beef sandwiches. I'm even supposed to give up alcohol. Now wait just a damn minute. No wine? How will I cope through Haley's teenage years. I was stocking up. Oh deep sigh! So say hello to my little friend, tofu. Now, I am game for tofu in miso soup. Yes, it's a winner. And occasionally in stirfry. But tofu burgers and tofu pretending to be a taco? I guess I will learn to love it. Damn tofu. So I will post some of my encounters with tofu and we will see how this goes. Then there is Troy. Damn Troy. Who can eat ANYTHING. Never gains weight, never has any health concerns and eats like a 17 year old boy trying to fatten up to be on the Offensive Line! Not fair (here is the pity party). My house is full of treats! But, as my pity party ends, I am going to be good and not snack on them, see if my levels go down and try to maintain a healthy loving lifestyle. Damn Troy.

Dad's 86th

My dad turned 86 in February. We had a party to celebrate. It is total chaos. Family all over, no one can hear anything,TV on, kids running in and out of the house. Dad has a great time, he loves to have his family around, even if it is chaotic. His favorite part of the day was earlier that day when Max came out and wished Grandfather a Happy Birthday. Then promptly turned around and "mooned" him. My dad laughed and said that made his day.


Max and Grandfather (just after the "mooning")


Josh and Grandfather

First tooth!

Max lost a tooth, then he really lost it. We need to write a letter to the tooth fairy to tell her we can't find it. I think he accidentally swallowed it and NO I am not going to look for it. The tooth fairy completely understands these situations and she "magically" finds it. Thank God. This is Max's first tooth that he has lost. Josh hasn't lost a tooth yet, but desperately wishes to lose one, just for the glamor. He asks me every day to feel his teeth to see if one of them is loose. I say, yep, it's getting a little loose. Come on tooth. How long can I keep this up, a year? I don't think so. So I hope his tooth gets loose soon.